Exquisitely Tragic, Tragically Exquisite
by AlexAugust
Summary: Remy's life is one of misery. Each new day is simply a reminder of what she had done and for that she hated each new day. Will running into an old coworker change that? Can a relationship started on lies and half-truths survive? Camteen throughout.
1. Chapter 1

**"Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic." - Oscar Wilde**

Remy sat up in bed and found the room far less welcoming in the morning light than when she had crossed the threshold when it was completely black. It had only been a matter of time before the sunlight showed up to ruin everything. There had been no sleep for her in the darkness, not after last night; she just couldn't close her eyes. The hours passed slowly as she watched the woman next to her sleep without a worry or a care. Such peaceful bliss tempted her to give in, to close her eyes and forget who she was for just a while longer, but that would only have made things worse.

Remy just could not bring herself to wake her companion, not after everything that had happened. Leaning forward she placed a soft kiss on a bit of exposed shoulder before slowly climbing out of bed. Turning around for one last look was a mistake that almost cost her everything. Every irrational thought screamed in her head at the same time to get back under the covers, wrap her arms around the soothing presence that had stayed next to her all night and let the consequences be damned.

That was the life of a happy person, though, a fact that kept it out of her grasp. As it was, last night had been a false promise that she could be there for someone and the longer she stayed with sleeping beauty the worse the lies were going to get. She was the embodiment of misery and could break the woman's wonderful little world into a thousand pieces if she remained there.

The tangled sheets, the reversed blanket, and the pillows on the floor were signs of what their life would be like together. In whatever fashion it may have started, it would not be long before none of it had anything to do with anything except misery and pain for the both of them. No one should go through the pain of watching her lose control and by leaving now, no one would.

Dressing silently had been something she mastered long ago. She was a change of clothes and a shower away from moving on with her life when she reached the door, which is why it made no sense when her feet stopped. A turn of the door handle and she would be free, but just as that handle turned she offered a look to the open bedroom where she could hear Allison waking up.

_Two weeks earlier…_

Remy walked into her favorite coffeehouse desperate for her favorite pastry, a warm decaf, and a chair that wasn't sitting in the diagnostics department. She knew going nearly 20 hours without any real food was stupid, but the last couple of hours of skipping something from the vending machine in favor of waiting for the cafe to open up always proved worth the wait.

Genuine French coffee and pastries were not easy to find outside of France, yet someone had brought them into a reasonable distance from her apartment. It was not the world's shortest detour but it was close enough that she could rationalize trading the extra miles on her car in exchange for getting something remarkable every once and a while. The fact that her occasional treat had been a twice a week habit now did nothing to change her rationalization.

Not that her choice to find good food that wasn't more chemical than food hadn't earned some incessant comments from her coworkers. They were not exactly on the same page when it came to ordering lunch and it only got worse with her return to Plainsboro. There was a whole list of things House could have said besides telling the team she had been in rehab. She got a whole three days of sympathy before the first remarks about her going back to virgins starting coming up in conversations.

As the line cleared away though, Remy felt herself smile a little. If they wanted to mock her then they didn't need to know about the café and some of the benefits that came with truly great coffee. In particular, her favorite reason for having breakfast within the cafe was a barista with light brown hair that held only the faintest touch of red. The woman was local, but when she shouted her order to the back in French, it did leave her wondering what other words the woman knew and what it might take to hear them echoing off her bedroom walls.

"My mystery woman," The barista, Ami, greeted her with a smile before putting in her usual order without asking. "Here for decaf and gone before the rush. Leaving me with a number I cannot even call to ask you to coffee."

Remy just smiled back. "If only there was some way of communicating that offer without a phone." It was strange to be hiding behind the enigma of 13 outside of work, but the other woman seemed to enjoy trying to guess little things about her life while flirting rather shamelessly with her. Both had started the first time she went to order something in the café when Ami tried to guess her order. The attractive barista had the order completely wrong, which made her feel somewhat awkward as it occurred to her that guessing orders might be something the woman did often, but no one told her she didn't do well. The awkwardness faded after Ami, apparently noting the strange situation she had caused, admitted to never doing that before but needing something to get Remy's pretty face to look at her instead of the cell phone.

"If only." Ami just handed her a receipt for the transaction and went to helping with filling orders.

Taking a seat at her favorite table Remy couldn't help but notice the empty seat across from her. It was a bit sad that her own issues took much so much of her life that she immediately dismissed any thought of a relationship. Sure, the woman flirted shamelessly with her every visit, so it wasn't like there a chance of being turned down, but there could never be anything between them, even if she had the occasional vivid dream where there was literally nothing between them.

Although, it was not exactly as if her fantasy life was any more interesting than her personal life. Ami was about as close to heating up either one as anyone had gotten in years.

"_One disastrous office romance and I've become a nun."_

After that fiasco, she did the proper thing of taking time alone to collect her thoughts and then time alone waiting for that perfect romance to appear suddenly into her life. When it seemed productive to seek out that perfect romance, there were responsibilities and a prison sentence occupying her time.

Then there was the here and now, which just seemed to exist to remind her how miserable life was. How could anyone have a stable relationship with someone whose very core was unstable? The day that she went to put down a cup of coffee and her hand seized around it, unable to release, or threw it across the room, was a day no one should have to live through.

Even remembering when she actually thought she could have something that matched a real relationship only made the misery that much worse. After the trial drug proved to be a failure, she should have realized where her life was heading. Instead, there was all that blind optimism that caused her to run head first into a brick wall a year ago; a wall that even House could not find a way for her to get around. There was simply no way to start a relationship without lying to someone or scaring them away completely with the truth.

Fantasies and daydreams, though, were harmless. A bit pathetic maybe, but they took away the misery for a while. Besides, they were never about anyone that did not seem willing, maybe even a little eager, to turn those thoughts of fiction into a reality. Be it her barista Ami, or some stranger at a bar, she was the one that kept conversations from going beyond harmless flirting.

The thought of one-night stands had crossed her mind, but none of those had ever provided any true relief to her misery and the next morning it would just be there waiting for her with some extra weight to trouble herself with. By the time they get started, the rational part of brain had shut off and the thoughts of the actual danger any of it had for her, or those she was picking up, were gone. Afterward, though, they made themselves present as the headache kicked in and it occurred to her that she knew the risk that came with magic cocktail of martinis and a side of pills, but there was equal certainty that whoever ordered the same thing had no idea.

"Decaf for 13..." The new guy that put her order on the counter was obviously a bit confused by the number instead of a name and it occurred to Remy that everyone she encountered could fit into one of two groups. There were those that were so confounded at the mystery they barely looked at her and those that started thinking that solving it would get them exactly what was on the surface.

Slowly getting up to get her coffee–rushing was for days when lives and paychecks were on the line-Ami was already putting up the next one when she smiled at Remy before calling for the customer.

"Allison." The name gave Remy pause for a reason she didn't understand until its recipient was standing next to her.

"Cameron?"

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><p><strong>To those noticing the lack of errors in reading this can thank my newly gained beta<strong>, **Dragongurl288**, **who graciously went through and corrected this chapter for me. The next few chapters are already in progress and will hopefully come at a quicker rate as the basis for this story was inspired by Olivia Wilde herself making a comment about Remy finding solace in Cameron. When a goddess mentions a possibility whom am I to ignore such inspiration? For a timeline on this, the Cafe events start off the day after 7x20.  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

"Cameron?" There was always a chance of running into someone from the hospital on her day off, but Remy would never have guessed the former ER attending would be that someone.

Allison heard two different people call her by two different names yes yet her head turned to the woman standing next to her. "Doctor Hadley?" She had rarely seen the duckling outside of the hospital when they worked together, but without the white coat the woman was easy enough to identify. House always had a way of finding people that would stand out in a crowd.

"Hi."

"Hi." Allison smiled politely, yet found herself at a loss for what exactly she was supposed to say. It was nothing personal against the young doctor; she just wasn't looking to have her presence in the state being revealed to certain people that the woman happened to know. It was guilt by association and already she was feeling bad about it.

The two woman just stood there for a moment, neither one sure what to say about their situation. Someone behind them eventually cleared their throat, disrupting the awkward silence that had quickly developed between them.

Realizing that the counter of a busy café was not the best place to hold a conversation, or just to stand there staring at each other, Remy looked to her little table with the second chair that was never used. "I've got a table near the back if you want to sit down?"

Allison considered the question for a few seconds before offering a nod of her head. Since there was no way to turn back time and her only real alternative was to run back to her hotel room with the walls that were starting to close in on her, it couldn't hurt to sit down for a few minutes. "Lead on."

Quickly rescuing their respective breakfasts before the customers of an angry morning rush grabbed whatever was sitting out in their hurry to get to the office, the former coworkers settled at Remy's table, which sat in a space all its own. Coffee was sipped, pastries were poked at, and silence ruled supreme until the older woman finally spoke up.

"This is a nice place." A painfully obvious statement, but her only real alternative was to sit there for another ten minutes before lying about having to be somewhere else.

"Yeah, it has a very authentic feel to it and everything is made fresh." Remy offered a slight tilt of her head to the crazy people that did seem to mistake the café for their local Starbucks. "I like getting in here before the morning rush starts; can't find a place to sit otherwise."

"Oh, you do have to go into work early?" She was surprised that the duckling would be so far from the hospital on a workday, though for all she knew the woman no longer worked there. It was a teaching hospital after all and diagnostics was far from a stable department to work in.

"I hope not, it is supposed to be my day off." Remy just offered a smile over her coffee cup, rather enjoying being almost a complete mystery to yet another woman.

Allison felt a genuine smile pull on her lips as she remembered that even the mighty House was not immune to confusion when dealing with the mysterious Thirteen. "Most people take the early morning of their day off to sleep in rather than trying to beat the morning rush to a café that will still be there at ten just as it was at seven."

"Most people have actually entered their REM cycle in the last 24 hours, but I am not most people." To Remy, it really didn't seem like something worth discussing. Working for House meant giving up things like sleep and just because she was sleeping less than she was a year ago that was nothing anyone, other than herself, should be concerned about.

Cameron found she was suddenly rather worried about the woman across from her. Either her former boss was pushing his employees too hard, or the woman had gone back to spending her off hours doing a whole series of unhealthy things instead of sleeping, and a combination of the two very well could be fatal. "When did you get off work?"

"About the same time this place was opening up, which was good timing as I didn't have to wait around outside looking like a junky in need of a fix." She really hadn't eaten anything in that same sleep deprived period of time either, but Cameron already looked like she might file a lawsuit with the ACLU on her behalf, which she found surprisingly amusing instead of the irritation it should have been.

"That is insane even by House's standards. There is no reason any doctor should go 24 hours without sleep when just treating a single patient. Especially when he has four doctors working with him and Wilson would do whatever he asks." It wasn't great for someone to be under continuous stress that long, but in some small way it made her feel better that the woman hadn't relapsed - there were enough addicts in her life thanks to a continuing career in emergency medicine.

"When exactly did House have standards? I seem to recall him starting a campaign of terror against you for canceling his free patient cable."

"That is a mild annoyance whereas making a doctor work 24 hours straight, on top of whatever clinic duty hours he is making you clear for him this week, is dangerous." There wasn't much of a response from Thirteen, just a simple shrug of the shoulders, but the action made Cameron remember why she had never really spoken to the elusive woman. Somehow, any topic they picked had ended in her chastising the younger doctor for the faults of others around her.

As their conversation stalled, Cameron started thinking about anything positive she might have known about the women from before her departure. Asking about the breakup and if there was someone better now seemed too personal, but there was that swirl of gossip about Foreman calling in a bomb threat to stop the woman's plane from taking off to Thailand. Whatever the actual truth of the rumor was it obviously hadn't worked out between them, yet it sparked an interesting thought. She had always wanted to see more of the world than she had and it seemed like the most casual topic that didn't relate to work.

"Gone anywhere interesting as of late?"

Remy felt her muscles tense up at the question. The most interesting locale she had found as of late was the café they were sitting in, unless she counted the inside of a New Jersey state prison as interesting. After Thailand, things had started changing so rapidly that she didn't even have a job for a while and since coming back to Princeton she had purposely made sure there wasn't a lot of time to consider changing shampoos let alone plan a trip to another continent.

Allison didn't know Remy well enough to pick up on the strange look that followed her comment, but the awkwardness was definitely still there.

"Not really, House has four people working under him and if his resident bisexual female isn't one of them he can't seem to really solve a case."

"I know exactly what you mean." The words left her mouth before she could fully process what exactly she was saying, which lead to a deep burning sensation spreading through her cheeks.

Remy for her part just smirked and enjoyed watching the blonde squirm around as if moving a few centimeters would somehow make the statement disappear.

While it took a few minutes of silence before Cameron was calm enough to look at the other woman without turning a deep shade of red, it wasn't awkward. They even exchanged small smiles a few times before she could convince herself to face what she had said and proceed to make an idiot out of herself trying to explain it.

"About what I said a minute ago," Looking at the Cheshire cat grin that touched those sharp blue eyes was not helping her process any. There was something going on behind that look and it frankly made her a bit nervous not to be able to tell what it was. "I was just agreeing with having to be the one that figured out what was wrong with the patients. The, umm, other thing-"

"You mean the thing where you suddenly came out to a former coworker in a café?" The amusement factor of making Cameron uncomfortable made the experience far better than the ones where she told other people she was bisexual.

"Yeah, I didn't really hear that before saying what I said." Admittedly, it sounded like a weak excuse even to her, but having Thirteen interrupting her wasn't exactly helping her situation.

"Really? So you're telling me that you've never craved for the touch of the fairer sex every now and then?"

Cameron just looked back down at the very cold coffee and scattered crumbs that consisted of her breakfast, trying to get away from responding to what the other woman was implying.

"Then I guess I should feel special that you were constantly hitting on me."

"Hitting on you?'' The volume of her voice wasn't exactly as low as Cameron would have liked for a private conversation, but after looking around it didn't seem like the few people left had heard her. "When exactly was I hitting on you?'' This time the words were slow, more annoyed and spoken in practically a whisper, yet Thirteen's bright smile never slipped.

"After that first Christmas party I could hardly get near you without becoming the constant focus of your attention. I was flattered of course, but there were a couple times I debated on filing a sexual harassment lawsuit, especially after I asked you for a job in the ER. I thought if I didn't leave the room fast enough you might just throw me on the couch and ravish me right then and there. Then of course there was all that unbridled jealousy when I even mentioned someone else during our conversations."

Cameron just sat there stunned. She didn't really think that anyone would mistake eye contact and a friendly hello as her hitting on them, especially not another woman, but it seemed that she had actually been creating a hostile work place for the duckling during those times when they had clinic duty or were in the ER treating patients.

"I'm so sorry if I made things weird for you around the hospital," Before she continued with an apology though, it struck her that Thirteen was remarkably relaxed about the whole ordeal, to the point that they were having a discussion about it after the woman had invited her to sit down. "I guess I wasn't being as subtle as I thought."

With that said, she politely stretched out her hand to lightly brush the tops of Thirteen's fingers; Cameron wanted to see just how harassed her former coworker felt. "I am sure you dealt with enough creeps at the hospital that you didn't need me making it any worse. I swear I normally don't behave like that it is just that," she had gotten more or less what she was expecting from the silent brunette so she had no reason to keep her own fingers on top of Thirteen's nor to keep talking, yet there they stayed and her mouth wouldn't close. "You're very pretty. If things were different then I am not sure if I would have been able to stop myself from trying something a bit more forward."

Remy for her part wasn't even sure where she was anymore. One moment she was enjoying a joke at her former coworker's expense and then she had ended up in Oz where her mind had the good witch across from her doing very naughty things, and where the temperature of the room was suddenly elevated. Regaining her sense of normalcy did seem to take longer then she would have thought, but Cameron's lingering touch was proving very distracting. Finally pulling herself together enough to notice the blonde's simple little smile one thing was clear, her self-restraint wouldn't have had a chance if Cameron had tried something.

"Well it is good to know I was right. I'd hate to think I was losing my charm." The words came out more stuttered than was normal for her usual calm and collected voice, but if her breakfast companion noticed she didn't seem to react.

"I don't think you need worry about that happening." Allison just smiled briefly before quickly realizing her hand was still very much in contact with Thirteen's. Withdrawing the rogue hand and returning it to the safety of the table there was an internal battle raging to keep from blushing like some schoolgirl, which wasn't easy until those sharp blue eyes were focused somewhere else other than her.

Looking out through one of the seemingly distant windows Remy noticed the sun was shining more clearly than when she had first encountered her former coworker, which meant she could be keeping the woman from something important. She had been enjoying Cameron's presence, but it wasn't right to go on without saying anything as for all she knew the ER doc had lives to save. "You're probably safe from the angry morning rush by now if you need to get to work."

The considerate, yet surprising, comment seemed to linger between them in that zone of awkward silence that had almost ended their conversation before it started. "I have a few days off otherwise I wouldn't have crossed the turnpike."

The unexpected response piqued Remy's interest. There was a personal detail, a rather minor one, but still something more than she ever recalled hearing from Cameron before and more than she had offered in kind. She hadn't been to New York in over a year to visit her dad and the thought suddenly overshadowed the joy of the conversation. He had visited several times at the hospice and twice when during her incarcerated vacation, but since then she hadn't even made an effort to talk to him more than once a week on the phone.

Suddenly feeling the weight of everything pressing down on her again, the urge to leave overtook her manners and she practically knocked the chair over in an effort to push it away from the table. "Sorry, but I just remembered my spinning class starts in 20 minutes and I left my gym bag at home."

She was lying, but it sounded better than explaining she was having an emotional breakdown and was fleeing back to her apartment instead of enjoying some more time with a pretty blonde because of that. Grabbing her purse and jacket off the chair with enough force that the sturdy wood frame gave a slight shake, Remy figured that her departure would end her contact with Cameron, but the smaller woman just followed her right out the door, which Remy did manage to remember to hold open for her. As the two walked together in silence towards her car, it didn't seem awkward at all but as the purse and jacket were tossed onto the passenger seat there seemed to be nothing left that would keep her near the other woman's presence. Sticking around would mean sacrificing what dignity she had left for another dose of public humiliation and yet she was inexplicably unable to pull away from someone she barely knew.

As they were standing there, Allison felt a similar dilemma as following Thirteen out of the café to simply prolong the contact was no longer an option. To make matters worse the younger woman definitely seemed in a hurry to leave, not that she could blame her for wanting to keep to a schedule, and there really wasn't any good reason for the two to keep standing by the car. Realizing the intelligent thing to do Allison retrieved a simple business card from her purse. They were a weird and pointless symbol of importance in the medical field but she was grateful to have them for once.

"Here, next time House tells you to work a 24 hour shift show him that and tell him that goes against doctor's orders." Just knowing the look on House's face if Thirteen actually did that would almost be worth the flood of bothersome phone calls she would get afterward, but she was rather hoping the duckling would use the card for a different reason.

"Or I could just call you when I am waiting around for test results at 2 AM."

"Okay, but after midnight I start billing the hospital for consultation fees." Allison felt better when she saw a small smile return to Thirteen's face before they parted ways. There had been that sudden change between them and it had made her worried, a sensation that stayed with her even when she reached her own car.

Remy left the parking lot at too high of a speed to be considered safe, without a seatbelt on, and the steering wheel gripped tightly enough that there were going to marks on her palms for a while. Her apartment was too far, but a small park everyone seemed to have forgotten existed was secluded enough that parking in the red-zone facing away from the road meant no one would see her break.

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><p><strong>So there it is - chapter two. I apologize for the delay to anyone that reads this after a two month gap in between updates and hope it was worth the wait. The error free status and the general fact that this story was continued is a credit to my beta, Dragongurl288, who spent several emails going over the various stages of this chapter with me before making it all readable. Thank you to all those that have read, alerted and reviewed the first chapter. If you would graciously find the review button and leave another one for this chapter I would be very grateful. I can't promise a date on when chapter 3 will be posted, but it is about half way done at this point and hopefully won't take two months to complete. <strong>


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